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Parenthood and maintaining a healthy relationship are ambitious endeavors. Being fully aware, you armed yourself with all the latest books, articles, podcasts, and resources, committed to being present and strong for your family. Yet, despite embracing every piece of advice and strategy in your search for reassurance, there are times you find yourself wondering why the harmony, connection, and closeness you envisioned seem out of reach. If this rings true, let me tell you: it’s not you! It’s what they didn’t tell you. The parenting guidance and strategies we read online lack depth. They hardly ever address the transition into parenthood and the profound impact this has on our identity, partnerships, and ability to show up as the parent we wish to be for our children. But guess what? We’re about to turn that around. Hi there, I’m Markella Kaplani. A clinical-counseling psychologist, a parenthood and relationship Coach, a matrescence coach and facilitator, a former special educator, and a parent myself. In my 15+ years in counseling and coaching, I know this to be true: once a parent is truly supported, not only through being given techniques to overcome parenting challenges, but on a personal and relational level, then the entire family can thrive. So, welcome to the Parenthood and Relationship Podcast! Here, we learn to grow individually, normalizing and validating the processes of matrescence and patrescence (i.e. struggling with identity, mom guilt, dad guilt, postpartum rage, work-life balance, etc). We also grow together by unraveling how parenthood affects marriage and what stands in the way of following the actionable parenting strategies that we know are helpful. So, if you’re feeling ready, let me hold your hand while we tackle intriguing, yet difficult topics, with compassion and curiosity. Interested to know more? - Reach out via email at info@markellakaplani.com with your questions, and - Visit www.markellakaplani.com to access FREE resources and check out ways to work with me personally. Let’s do this! --- 🔎 Is Parenthood Making or Breaking Your Relationship? FIND OUT NOW! https://www.markellakaplani.com/couplesquiz 🖥 Reconcile the ’old’ identity with the ’new’ Grab your FREE Matrescence Mini-Course https://www.markellakaplani.com/videoseries 👥 Join our Circle: www.facebook.com/groups/parenthoodandrelationship/ 🤝 Would you like a more personalized touch? I can offer Parenthood and Relationship Coaching. info@markellakaplani.com www.markellakaplani.com Book an introductory session to explore our chemistry and whether I am the right fit for you: http://tidycal.com/markellakaplani/intro-session
Episodes
5 days ago
5 days ago
Parenthood changes everything, doesn’t it? Suddenly, life revolves around the baby, and for many dads, it can feel like they’ve been pushed into the background.
If you’ve ever felt sidelined, like the affection and attention you once shared with your partner has shifted entirely to the kids, this episode is for you.
And moms, while this episode speaks directly to dads, it offers insights that benefit you just as much. Many women start to feel as though their husband is jealous of the baby or the kids but the truth lies elsewhere.
By understanding what your partner might be feeling, you’ll discover ways to navigate these challenges together with empathy.
Moms often feel overwhelmed and under-supported, and this episode will help you see how to bridge the gap, foster empathy, and reconnect as a team—without adding extra pressure to your already full plate.
👉 Today, we uncover:
💔 Why dads often feel invisible after baby
🌀 The resentment cycle that quietly builds in relationships
🛠 Tools to help dads reconnect with their partner and role
❤️ How small shifts create big changes in your connection
Parenthood doesn’t have to mean drifting apart.
Whether you’re a dad feeling unappreciated or a mom looking to better understand your partner’s perspective, this episode is packed with practical tips to bring you closer.
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Mentioned Resources
1. Couples’ Communication Checklist
2. Reconnect With Her CHALLENGE
ALSO, learn more about men's psychology in parenthood [Episode on Patrescence] as well as moms' psychology [Episode 1 on Matrescence]
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Full Transcript HERE.
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📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com)
🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review!
Your support means the world!
---
Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
www.markellakaplani.com
Sunday Nov 10, 2024
Sunday Nov 10, 2024
Resentment can be a silent weight in many relationships, and for parents, it often feels intensified.
In this episode, we dive into the roots of resentment in marriage, exploring how parenthood can uncover unresolved emotional wounds that surface when life becomes busier and more demanding.
Whether it’s unspoken needs going unmet or feeling like one partner is carrying more of the load, resentment can subtly shift how we view each other and impact our closeness.
Today we find out why resentment builds, especially after having kids, and how it’s often a signal that something important needs attention. 🧠
More specifically, we take a look at:
- 💔 How resentment forms when life feels unbalanced
- 🔍 The surprising role old wounds play in current frustrations
- ❤️ Practical steps to address resentment and reconnect
- 💡 Ways to build a partnership that feels fulfilling and balanced
This conversation isn’t about blame. It’s about creating a more connected, compassionate partnership and breaking free from resentment’s cycle so you both feel supported.
I hope you’ll join me!
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Mentioned Resources
1. Google: John and Julie Gottman - Relationship experts who research what makes a healthy relationship.
2. Couples’ Communication Checklist
3. Reconnect With Her CHALLENGE
Learn more about your psychology in fatherhood [Episode on Patrescence] as well as your partner’s [Episode 1 on Matrescence]
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Full Transcript HERE.
---
📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com)
🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review!
Your support means the world!
---
Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
www.markellakaplani.com
Sunday Nov 03, 2024
Sunday Nov 03, 2024
Curious about why your partner is so exhausted despite the help you offer?
This episode delves into the unseen layers of mom fatigue and provides compassionate strategies to help you support her better whilst acknowledging the tough situation you, too, are in.
We’ll explore the emotional and mental loads that weigh heavily on mothers, and how you, as a partner, can make a meaningful difference in her daily life.
This episode is packed with insights to help you bridge the gap in understanding, improve communication, and bring renewed connection to your relationship.
What You’ll Discover:
- Why mom fatigue goes beyond physical tiredness and how it impacts your relationship
- The reasons why you may be triggered and hurt by her exhaustion
- How societal expectations and “the invisible load” affect her energy levels
- Practical tips to offer meaningful support without overwhelming or triggering her
- Ways to reconnect with empathy and strengthen your bond as co-parents
- How understanding her needs can also bring fulfillment to you
Discover small, powerful actions that can make a huge difference in how she feels — and in the strength of your partnership.
Listen in for actionable insights and start building a more connected, resilient relationship.
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Reconnect With Her CHALLENGE
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Episode 1 on Matrescence (Apple player)
Episode on Patrescence (Apple player)
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Full Transcript HERE.
---
📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com)
🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review!
Your support means the world!
---
Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
www.markellakaplani.com
Sunday Oct 27, 2024
Sunday Oct 27, 2024
Today's episode is another coaching session, where we discuss how to mentally prepare for motherhood and the arrival of a new family member.
Join me as I coach Lexi, a mom-to-be and stepmom of 2, through her journey of embracing a positive mindset and finding balance in a blended family.
We discuss essential tips on managing family dynamics, staying flexible, and prioritizing mental health while preparing for a new addition to the family whilst exploring and maintaining how to be a supportive step-parent.
Whether you're about to become a new parent or are already navigating the world of step-parenting, this episode is for you!
Lexi’s story will resonate with anyone who is balancing different family needs, managing a busy life, and trying to keep a positive mindset along the way.
Get ready to take away real-life strategies for keeping a healthy perspective and creating a family culture filled with love, understanding, and flexibility. 💪🧘♀️👶✨
What You’ll Learn in this Episode:
🌈 How to cultivate a flexible and positive mindset
👨👩👧 Tips for managing blended family dynamics
🤔 Ways to address self-sacrifice and set boundaries
📅 Tips for preparing for motherhood
🧠 Mindfulness practices to reduce anxiety
💬 Open communication and family therapy benefits
💡 Realistic expectations when juggling multiple roles
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Lexi's Bio and Links
Lexi Kelley Soderberg was burnt out beyond belief when she chose to leave the classroom. She changed her life by switching from classroom teaching to tutoring full-time and now helps other teachers change their lives too. Lexi is on a mission to improve every child's reading ability and empower every adult in the process of helping them.
FREE Reading Tracker to set and achieve your reading goals:
https://poster.pages.teachertransformers.com/free-guide-1-3232
Interested in seeing if Teacher Transformers is a good fit for you? Book a free call here (https://link.webbrixx.com/widget/booking/pzTgKr8KyRPr6SYZYT7w)
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Journaling Exercise
To reflect on this and find balance in your own life, here is a journaling prompt:
In what areas of my life am I feeling stretched thin? What are three small steps that I could take to seek support, create flexibility, or let go of unrealistic expectations?
This reflection is designed to help you see where you can introduce some breathing space and allow for a gentler approach to the challenges you're facing.
---
Related Resources and Links
> FREE Self-Connect Calendar
> FREE Guide: Calm Parent Calm Child
> (Re)Discover Your Identity in Motherhood [waitlist]
> Get in touch with me (Instagram; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com)
> Leave a Podcast Review HERE 😀
> FREE Motherhood Coaching Session: Send an e-mail to info@markellakaplani.com with the subject line “Podcast Guesting”
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Find the full transcript HERE.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/11OtZvbKyBPHIUhRK86I7YczpfWJliYaMfAL3A8BtyyE/edit?usp=sharing
—
🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world!
📲 Follow me on Instagram @markella.kaplani for more insights and updates.
---
Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
www.markellakaplani.com
Sunday Oct 20, 2024
Sunday Oct 20, 2024
Feeling disconnected in your relationship after having kids? You’re not alone.
In this episode, we get real about the communication struggles that many couples face after becoming parents. Parenthood brings new challenges, and it’s common for communication issues to arise, but they don’t have to drive a wedge between you and your partner.
We explore the 3 most common communication mistakes couples make after kids, and most importantly, how to fix them. Discover practical ways to reconnect with your partner, establish healthy communication, and create a more harmonious family dynamic.
Join me to uncover how parenthood shifts the way we communicate and learn simple, effective strategies to rebuild that bond and strengthen your relationship.
Here’s the truth: You and your partner can still have a connected, thriving relationship, even in the chaos of parenthood.
My tools will help you enhance your communication and create a stronger, more connected family unit.
Today We Find Out:
🧠 3 common communication mistakes that couples make after kids
🔍 How lack of appreciation creates distance in relationships
💡 Practical ways to express your needs clearly
👶 How parenthood affects the way we communicate
💬 How to use “clear and compassionate requests”
🧳 The importance of gratitude and appreciation in maintaining connection
🧘 How to manage stress to avoid damaging conversations
This episode will leave you feeling ready to tackle your communication challenges and bring more balance and understanding into your relationship.
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Referenced Links
Couple’s Communication Checklist
markellakaplani.com/coupleschecklist
(Send me a screenshot of your Apple review at info@markellakaplani.com and get it for FREE)
Couple’s Communication Workshop
markellakaplani.com/CouplesWorkshop
Sign up for the waitlist and be the first to know when we go live!
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Journaling Exercise
As your journaling exercise this week, pick one of the strategies discussed in the episode and put it into practice.
Write down in your journal whether you'll be using the daily appreciation ritual or the pausing before you snap, or whether you will be doing the weekly check ins.
Each small step helps to build a stronger foundation for your relationship.
---
Related Resources and Links
> FREE Self-Connect Calendar
> FREE Guide: Calm Parent Calm Child
> (Re)Discover Your Identity in Motherhood [waitlist]
> Get in touch with me (Instagram; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com)
> Leave a Podcast Review HERE 😀
> FREE Motherhood Coaching Session: Send an e-mail to info@markellakaplani.com with the subject line “Podcast Guesting”
> Join our community on Facebook: Parenthood and Relationship Group
---
Find the full transcript HERE.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Arefwmg49G5qXmJzzrdzR58MHqvt1zcthjgqeVHds8M/edit?usp=sharing
—
🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world!
📲 Follow me on Instagram @markella.kaplani for more insights and updates.
---
Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
www.markellakaplani.com
Sunday Oct 13, 2024
Sunday Oct 13, 2024
Feeling lost in motherhood / fatherhood? You’re not alone.
In this episode, we have a warm but honest conversation regarding the struggle to keep a sense of self while being the best parent we can be.
Parenthood changes everything, but it doesn’t have to erase who we are.
We’ll explore how to navigate the identity shift that comes with becoming a parent and provide 6 powerful insights on how to reclaim your sense of self.
Join me so that we discuss the underlying reasons for our loss of identity in motherhood and fatherhood and how, even though you might think it only impacts you as an individual, it CAN erode both your marriage as well as your connection with your children.
Here’s the truth: you don’t have to choose between being a good parent and being YOU.
My 6 actionable strategies will help you reconnect with your identity and bring more balance and joy into your life.
Today We Find Out:
- 🧠 What it means to lose yourself in parenthood
- 🔍 How to recognize signs of identity loss
- 💡 Practical steps to reclaim your sense of self
- 🧳 Balancing self-care and parenting
- 💬 How to communicate your needs with your partner
This episode will leave you feeling empowered to rediscover yourself while embracing parenthood fully.
—
Referenced Links
- Episode 25 - Coaching session with Devan:
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/gr/podcast/the-parenthood-and-relationship-podcast/id1739098480?i=1000671184664
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5uYoucZEpYQpKCfosPTUzx?si=VF4LbtxDQ6SqDz4pahLK9A
Podbean: markellakaplani.podbean.com/e/25
- FREE Self-Connect Calendar
markellakaplani.com/selfconnectcalendar
- Couple’s Communication Checklist
markellakaplani.com/coupleschecklist
(Send me a screenshot of your Apple review at info@markellakaplani.com and get it for FREE)
—
DOWNLOAD THE FREE MINI VIDEO SERIES ON HOW MOTHERHOOD CHANGES US
Find out why and how this happens in key areas of life, including your personality, your relationship, your work, and even your spirituality. Get it here for FREE: https://www.markellakaplani.com/videoseries
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Journaling Exercise
Take some time to reflect on these questions to reconnect with yourself:
- How am I feeling right now? Write honestly about your emotions, both positive and negative.
- What do I need? Identify your personal needs beyond your role as a parent.
- What is missing in my life? Explore areas of your life you feel disconnected from or that you want to reintroduce.
- What part of my old self do I miss the most? Reflect on the hobbies, passions, or personality traits you feel have faded since becoming a parent.
This exercise can help you start the journey of rediscovering yourself while embracing your role as a parent.
—-
Related Resources and Links
> FREE Self-Connect Calendar
> FREE Guide: Calm Parent Calm Child
> (Re)Discover Your Identity in Motherhood [waitlist]
> Get in touch with me (Instagram; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com)
> Leave a Podcast Review HERE 😀
> FREE Motherhood Coaching Session: Send an e-mail to info@markellakaplani.com with the subject line “Podcast Guesting”
> Join our community on Facebook: Parenthood and Relationship Group
---
Find the full transcript HERE.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oRfx-ftekX7ex7T6Blyo1TkMfoUs87jYUz7N3Irkaio/edit?usp=sharing
—
🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world!
📲 Follow me on Instagram @markella.kaplani for more insights and updates.
---
Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
Matrescence Coach, Facilitator, & Activist
www.markellakaplani.com
Sunday Oct 06, 2024
Sunday Oct 06, 2024
Have you ever felt unsupported as a mom?
Motherhood is tough, but what makes it even harder is when societal expectations are disguised as support.
If you’ve ever asked yourself, "Am I being too sensitive?" or wondered if you’re overreacting to well-meaning advice, you're not alone.
In this episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, we’ll talk about the difference between real support and the subtle pressure that often makes moms feel judged, gaslit, and even burdened by mom guilt.
Where do these expectations come from, and how can we start recognizing when advice is more about the other person’s comfort than actual help?
More importantly, how do we stop passing down generational expectations and offer moms the kind of support that truly lightens their load?
🎧 In today’s episode, we explore:
- The emotional toll of societal pressure and how it fuels mom guilt
- How to offer healing support instead of judgment
- Why many moms feel unsupported, even by those closest to them
- The role of past trauma in shaping our expectations of motherhood
- How to recognize when you’re being gaslit versus being too hard on yourself
If you’ve ever struggled with feeling guilty or unsure whether you're receiving true support, this episode is for you.
We’ll discuss the small yet powerful shifts that can help both moms and those who care about them offer support in a way that truly makes a difference.
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DOWNLOAD THE FREE MINI VIDEO SERIES ON HOW MOTHERHOOD CHANGES US
Get it here for FREE: https://www.markellakaplani.com/videoseries
---
Journaling Exercise
1. If you are a mom who feels gaslit or unsupported
Think about a recent situation where you felt unsupported, judged, or dismissed. Reflect on how the interaction made you feel. Did you second-guess your emotions or decisions? Ask yourself: Were my feelings invalidated, or was I told I was overreacting? How do I usually respond in moments like these, and what impact does it have on my confidence as a mother?
Write down your thoughts and ask yourself:
- "What do I need in moments like this to feel truly supported?"
- "Is there a pattern in how I receive feedback or advice from certain people, and how does that impact my sense of self?"
- "What boundaries can I set to protect my emotional well-being?"
2. If you fear that you may be passing your own trauma as "support"
Reflect on a recent time when you gave advice or support to a mom in your life. Was my advice really what she needed, or did it reflect my own unresolved experiences and fears? Was I trying to validate my own choices by encouraging her to follow my path? How can I better tune into her needs and offer support that honors her journey, not mine?
Write down your thoughts and explore:
- "Am I projecting any of my past struggles or unmet needs onto others?"
- "How can I check in with myself before offering advice to ensure it's about helping her, not validating my own decisions?"
- "What would true, compassionate support look like from her perspective?"
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Related Resources and Links
> FREE Self-Connect Calendar
> FREE Guide: Calm Parent Calm Child
> (Re)Discover Your Identity in Motherhood [waitlist]
> Get in touch with me (Instagram; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com)
> Leave a Podcast Review HERE 😀
> FREE Motherhood Coaching Session: Send an e-mail to info@markellakaplani.com with the subject line “Podcast Guesting”
> Join our community on Facebook: Parenthood and Relationship Group
---
Find the full transcript HERE.
🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world!
📲 Follow me on Instagram @markella.kaplani for more insights and updates.
---
Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
Matrescence Coach, Facilitator, & Activist
www.markellakaplani.com
![COACHING SESSION #1: Healing from Generational Sacrifice [Motherhood expectations | Working Mom | Mom Burnout] | Episode 25](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog18408003/episode_25_thumbnail_idd6ci_300x300.jpg){kind=logo}
Sunday Sep 29, 2024
Sunday Sep 29, 2024
In this heart-opening episode, you’ll witness a live coaching session with Devan, a mother of two young children, who vulnerably shares her struggles around juggling motherhood, work, and personal fulfillment (see her bio below!).
As a grief counselor, Devan is no stranger to the emotional landscape of life’s challenges, but in her journey through motherhood, she grapples with feelings of guilt, the pressure to be an “awesome mom,” and the struggle to find balance.
Together, we explore Devan’s conflicting identities: the loving mom she wants to be, showing up in every way possible and the business she strives to keep on scaling.
Through insightful coaching, we unpack her inner critic, expectations, and fears that most parents will resonate with deeply.
Will she find the balance she yearns for, or is there more to the concept of "enough"? Join us on this exploration of self-sacrifice, generational expectations, and redefining success as a parent.
In this episode, you’ll gain:
👉 Insight into the emotional struggles of balancing motherhood and career
👉 Practical strategies for managing mom guilt
👉 Real-life examples of handling burnout as a parent
👉 Tools to connect with your children while maintaining your personal identity
👉 An honest look at the internal pressures mothers feel to "do it all"
With love, vulnerability, and compassion, this episode is sure to resonate with parents navigating the complexity of modern motherhood.
#MomGuilt #ParentingBalance #WorkingMomStruggles #HealingGenerations #MomBurnout #MotherhoodJourney
DOWNLOAD THE FREE MINI VIDEO SERIES ON HOW MOTHERHOOD CHANGES US
Find out why and how this happens in key areas of life, including your personality, your relationship, your work, and even your spirituality. Get it here for FREE: https://www.markellakaplani.com/videoseries
---
Journaling Exercise
Take some time to reflect on the emotions that surfaced while listening to this episode.
- How do you relate to the experiences of balancing motherhood, career, and personal identity?
- Consider any guilt, expectations, or pressure you feel. What might help you feel more at peace in these areas of your life?
- How can you balance your identity as a mother or father with your other roles and passions?
—
More on Devan and her incredible work:
Devan, MCP, RCC, is a Registered Clinical Counsellor, owner of DevanCecilia Counselling, and mom of two toddlers. After experiencing 20 deaths before the age of 20, Devan felt called to sit and support others who needed help and connection. With over a decade of clinical experience in grief and loss, end-of-life, caregiving support, and mental health, Devan believes no stories or thoughts are too scary, too much, too big, or too soon to talk about.
After working with and supporting others in their grief, Devan felt called to help create a better experience for grievers before life-altering losses. She created The Grief Kit, and Gather Before Goodbye, an online guide to collecting as much as possible about your loved ones before they die. A four-step collection method to memorialize and celebrate a loved one’s life in advance of their death.
https://devanceciliacounselling.com/
Facebook and Instagram: @devanceciliacounselling
LinkedIn: Devan Christian-Vermeer
Podcast guest links:
https://www.griefdreams.ca/podcast/98?rq=devan
https://www.youtube.com/live/PxVJs4uBcGs?si=WkQzsDGlwBv3jTpF
—-
Related Resources and Links
> FREE Self-Connect Calendar
> FREE Guide: Calm Parent Calm Child
> (Re)Discover Your Identity in Motherhood [waitlist]
> Get in touch with me (Instagram; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com)
> Leave a Podcast Review HERE 😀
> FREE Motherhood Coaching Session: Send an e-mail to info@markellakaplani.com with the subject line “Podcast Guesting”
> Join our community on Facebook: Parenthood and Relationship Group
---
Find the full transcript HERE.
🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world!
📲 Follow me on Instagram @markella.kaplani for more insights and updates.
---
Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
Matrescence Coach, Facilitator, & Activist
www.markellakaplani.com
Markella Kaplani
Psychologist | Parenthood & Relationship Coach
The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast offers a deep exploration of the emotional and psychological challenges of becoming a parent.
Diving into topics like matrescence, patrescence, and the loss of identity, this podcast is designed to provide holistic, compassionate insights for those looking to navigate the complex dynamics of parenthood and relationships.
With weekly episodes focused on personal growth, overcoming parental guilt, and strengthening family bonds, it invites you, the listener to join a supportive community dedicated to personal and relational fulfillment.
Let's (re)connect to ourselves, our partners, our children, and each other!