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Parenthood and maintaining a healthy relationship are ambitious endeavors. Being fully aware, you armed yourself with all the latest books, articles, podcasts, and resources, committed to being present and strong for your family. Yet, despite embracing every piece of advice and strategy in your search for reassurance, there are times you find yourself wondering why the harmony, connection, and closeness you envisioned seem out of reach. If this rings true, let me tell you: it’s not you! It’s what they didn’t tell you. The parenting guidance and strategies we read online lack depth. They hardly ever address the transition into parenthood and the profound impact this has on our identity, partnerships, and ability to show up as the parent we wish to be for our children. But guess what? We’re about to turn that around. Hi there, I’m Markella Kaplani. A clinical-counseling psychologist, a parenthood and relationship Coach, a matrescence coach and facilitator, a former special educator, and a parent myself. In my 15+ years in counseling and coaching, I know this to be true: once a parent is truly supported, not only through being given techniques to overcome parenting challenges, but on a personal and relational level, then the entire family can thrive. So, welcome to the Parenthood and Relationship Podcast! Here, we learn to grow individually, normalizing and validating the processes of matrescence and patrescence (i.e. struggling with identity, mom guilt, dad guilt, postpartum rage, work-life balance, etc). We also grow together by unraveling how parenthood affects marriage and what stands in the way of following the actionable parenting strategies that we know are helpful. So, if you’re feeling ready, let me hold your hand while we tackle intriguing, yet difficult topics, with compassion and curiosity. Interested to know more? - Reach out via email at info@markellakaplani.com with your questions, and - Visit www.markellakaplani.com to access FREE resources and check out ways to work with me personally. Let’s do this! --- 🔎 Is Parenthood Making or Breaking Your Relationship? FIND OUT NOW! https://www.markellakaplani.com/couplesquiz 🖥 Reconcile the ’old’ identity with the ’new’ Grab your FREE Matrescence Mini-Course https://www.markellakaplani.com/videoseries 👥 Join our Circle: www.facebook.com/groups/parenthoodandrelationship/ 🤝 Would you like a more personalized touch? I can offer Parenthood and Relationship Coaching. info@markellakaplani.com www.markellakaplani.com Book an introductory session to explore our chemistry and whether I am the right fit for you: http://tidycal.com/markellakaplani/intro-session
Episodes
4 days ago
4 days ago
[GET THE INTIMACY in 5 MINUTE GUIDE!]
Ever said something totally harmless and watched your partner’s face fall like you just insulted their soul?
You’re not alone.
This episode dives into the invisible gap between what we say and what our partner hears, especially when we’re tired, touched out, and trying to survive modern parenthood.
Because good intentions don’t always translate into connection.
Sometimes, they land as daggers.
Join me as I unpack why even loving words can trigger pain and disconnection.
Drawing from real client stories and practical psychology, we’ll explore why tone, timing, and unspoken emotional baggage matter so much more than we realize.
This isn’t about walking on eggshells.
It’s about building awareness, so your words become bridges instead of battlegrounds.
🎧 Today we explore:
- Why parenting stress amplifies emotional triggers
- How miscommunication happens even with the best intentions
- The 3 invisible factors behind disconnection (tone, timing, trauma)
- How to start responding from empathy instead of defense
- You’ll also walk away with my 3P tool to help you shift from reacting to reconnecting.
Whether you’re the one feeling misunderstood or you’re trying to understand your partner better, this episode is a must-listen for anyone craving closeness after kids.
👉 Don’t forget to subscribe to my free weekly love letter, The Sunday Reconnect, for exclusive insights and tools.
https://markellakaplani.com/newsletter
GET THE INTIMACY in 5 MINUTE GUIDE!
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Full Transcript HERE.
—
Want to take our relationship to the next level?
👉Here are my top Resources
👉 Link to my Newsletter
👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge
📩 Get in touch with me
Instagram @markella.kaplani;
website: https://markellakaplani.com;
e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com)
📢 Listen, share, and leave a review!
Your support means the world!
---
Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
www.markellakaplani.com
Sunday Jun 22, 2025
Sunday Jun 22, 2025
Have you ever wondered why communication tools sometimes don’t appear to work in relationships, even when you’re trying your best? Or why you and your partner keep having the same argument again and again? If you’ve been asking yourself, “how to fix emotional distance in a relationship,” or “why am I not feeling heard in my marriage,” this episode is for you.
In today’s powerful conversation, I sit down with Dr. Randall Alifano, a clinical psychologist, therapist of 40+ years, and author of Listening in the Raw, to explore what real listening in a relationship looks like. We dive deep into the difference between empathy and performing empathy, and why using communication tools in marriage can sometimes make things worse instead of better.
You’ll learn how childhood wounds show up in marriage, how to spot emotional filters in couples communication, and what happens when we stop reacting and start responding, not from defense, but from curiosity.
This episode is packed with insights for anyone wondering:
👉 how to stop taking things personally in a relationship
👉 how to listen to your partner without judgment
👉 how to repair a relationship after a fight
👉 how to create emotional intimacy in marriage
👉 why listening is more important than fixing in relationships
We also touch on the traps of modern self-development and why “do your own work” isn’t enough when you’re in a partnership. Dr. Alifano shares how interdependence in relationships creates real connection and why your body’s reaction during a conflict might tell you more than your thoughts ever could.
Whether you’re a parent, a partner, or a therapist yourself, you’ll leave this episode with practical tools and a softer lens. If you've ever Googled how to stop arguing with your spouse, how to connect with your partner again, or how to improve communication in marriage, this conversation is a must-listen.
We also explore:
👉 the pursuer-withdrawer dynamic in relationships
👉 how to repair connection with your child after yelling
👉 how to listen without taking over the conversation
👉 how to stay calm during an argument
Dr. Alifano’s presence is grounding and wise and this episode is a gentle but radical invitation to rethink the way you relate. You’ll laugh, you might cry, and you’ll definitely finish with a fresh take on what makes relationships work as well as what might be quietly getting in the way.
🎧 Tune in now and don’t forget to subscribe if you’re on a journey to create more emotional connection in marriage and family life.
💌 SIGN UP: This week’s loveletter includes 1 insight, 1 exclusive tool, as well as 1 three-minute reset to help you track small emotional wins. Get it at markellakaplani.com/newsletter.
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Who is Dr. Randall Alifano?
Dr. Randall Alifano has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is an Ordained Minister with over 40 years of experience integrating psychology and spirituality in his private practice. He has worked with a diverse group of people at various stages of their lives, listening to their dreams and aspirations, traumas and confusions, and their desire to live life more attuned to their inner wisdom. And he has loved doing it his entire career. Over the decades, he has studied numerous theories and methodologies (both psychological and spiritual) and they have all filtered down to inform who he is and how he works.
Website: RandallAlifanophd.com
Book: Listening in the Raw - Get it on Amazon
Paperback: https://a.co/d/1OgqHoR
Audiobook: https://a.co/d/1vITt8X
Kindle: https://a.co/d/9XR07G4
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Full Transcript HERE.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QNX6N5IAyM_kI4PKPtcWnoPRPvw11_TNyvpueIRT0hY/edit?usp=sharing
Want to take our relationship to the next level?
👉 GET THE FREE INTIMACY in 5 MINUTE GUIDE! https://markellakaplani.com/intimacyin5minutes
👉Here are my top Resources: https://www.markellakaplani.com/resources
👉 Link to my Newsletter: http://markellakaplani.com/newsletter
👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge: http://markellakaplani.com/challenge
📩 Get in touch with me
Instagram @markella.kaplani: https://www.instagram.com/markella.kaplani/
Website: https://www.markellakaplani.com/
E-mail: info@markellakaplani.com
📢 Listen, share, and leave a review!
https://podcasts.apple.com/gr/podcast/the-parenthood-and-relationship-podcast/id1739098480
Your support means the world!
---
Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
www.markellakaplani.com
Friday Jun 20, 2025
Friday Jun 20, 2025
GET THE INTIMACY in 5 MINUTE GUIDE!
If you’ve ever found yourself lying next to your partner at night feeling more like co-parents than lovers, wondering why you feel disconnected despite still loving each other then this episode is for you.
In this week's episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, we’re diving deep into the invisible force that could be draining your emotional closeness without either of you realizing it: emotional labor in parenting.
Maybe you're not arguing. Maybe your schedules are full. Maybe the kids are thriving. And yet, something feels off. You catch yourself thinking, “Is it the sex? Is it that we don’t talk like we used to?” But when you try to fix it with a date night or a long talk, it doesn’t always hit the spot.
Why?
Because intimacy isn’t just about sex or deep conversations. It’s about feeling seen, held, and recognized, especially in the chaos of family life. And emotional labor in relationships, especially for parents, is often what’s causing the slow drift that no one talks about.
We’ll explore why emotional labor in relationships becomes heavier after children arrive and why couples start to experience emotional distance in marriage, even when the love hasn’t gone anywhere. You’ll learn how everyday tasks (from packing school lunches to remembering grandparents' birthdays) create an emotional load that’s rarely acknowledged, and how that load impacts closeness, connection, and desire.
This episode also unpacks the sneaky feeling of being “fine but not great.” That quiet ache of feeling like roommates in marriage is one of the most common things I hear from couples, and it’s often the beginning of a slippery slope toward disconnection - not because the relationship is broken, but because your version of intimacy needs to evolve.
If you’ve been asking yourself how to reconnect after kids, or if you’re searching for what intimacy after parenthood really looks like (hint: it’s not always candlelit dinners), you’re in the right place.
I’ll also guide you through three tiny yet transformative rituals you can start this week; no scheduling, therapy, or “fixing” required. These are invitations to start noticing each other again, to shift from performance to presence, and to slowly rebuild emotional intimacy in long-term relationships that have been weathered by parenting.
Whether you're a few months into parenting or many years in, this is a powerful listen that brings empathy, relief, and direction. It’s not about blame. It’s about awareness. Because once you understand how emotional labor in parenting shows up in your home and heart, you’ll start to see your relationship through a more compassionate lens.
If you’re wondering how to reconnect with your partner, especially when life is too busy for grand romantic gestures, you’ll walk away feeling less alone, more understood, and equipped with practical tools that fit into your real life.
So if you’re ready to go from surviving to reconnecting, press play. You’ll hear real talk, tangible practices, and a perspective that honors your role as a parent and a partner.
Because you can still have love, warmth, and connection, even in the messy middle.
GET THE INTIMACY in 5 MINUTE GUIDE!
💌 Don’t forget: This week’s newsletter includes an exclusive tool to help you track small emotional wins get it at markellakaplani.com/newsletter.
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Full Transcript HERE.
—
Want to take our relationship to the next level?
👉Here are my top Resources
👉 Link to my Newsletter
👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge
📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com)
📢 Listen, share, and leave a review!
Your support means the world!
---
Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
www.markellakaplani.com
Monday Jun 09, 2025
Monday Jun 09, 2025
Have you ever felt like you're the one holding your relationship and family together — not just with tasks, but with emotional glue? Like you're the radar, the planner, the peacekeeper… and no one really notices?
In this episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, we name it: emotional labor. But not the oversimplified version you see in viral posts. We go deeper into the invisible roles we inherit, the silent deals we never consented to, and the part of you that believes: “If I don’t hold it together, we’ll fall apart.”
You’ll explore the subconscious scripts that dictate your behavior, not to blame anyone, but to bring clarity, choice, and intimacy back to the forefront of your relationship. Because when we rewrite those scripts, we free ourselves and our partners from patterns that no longer serve.
Today we explore:
- What emotional labor actually is; beyond the to-do list
- How your childhood shaped the emotional role you play in relationships
- The silent “contracts” you never agreed to but still uphold
- How naming the pattern is the first step toward emotional intimacy
💌 Don’t forget: This episode includes a journaling prompt and a free worksheet to help you unpack and gently rewrite the emotional roles you’ve taken on. Get it at markellakaplani.com/newsletter.
—
Full Transcript HERE.
—
Want to take our relationship to the next level?
👉Here are my top Resources
👉 Link to my Newsletter
👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge
📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com)
📢 Listen, share, and leave a review!
Your support means the world!
---
Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
www.markellakaplani.com
Sunday Jun 01, 2025
Sunday Jun 01, 2025
Have you ever sat next to your partner, not angry, not even distant on purpose, and still felt miles apart?
This episode is for couples who love each other deeply… but no longer feel it.
We go beyond the usual communication advice and explore how emotional intimacy is often blocked not by a lack of love but by a nervous system that no longer feels safe.
If you’re parenting, stretched thin, or just too exhausted for deep talks, you’ll discover why co-regulation, somatic cues, and body-based safety matter more than ever in your relationship.
We unpack the hidden impact of nervous system dysregulation on emotional connection, and I’ll guide you through 3 simple but powerful invitations to begin reconnecting without needing long conversations, date nights, or perfect words.
This is intimacy from the inside out.
Today we explore:
- 🔍 Why you feel emotionally distant even when nothing’s “wrong”
- 💬 What happens when your nervous systems stop syncing
- 🧠 How emotional safety rewires intimacy more than communication skills
- ❤️ The quiet, somatic ways to reconnect without talking
💌 Don’t forget The Sunday Reconnect: This week’s loveletter includes one insight, one tool, and one three-minute reset to help you feel closer to yourself and to the people you love. You can sign up at markellakaplani.com/newsletter
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Past Episodes on Improving Communication in Couples
-
How does parenthood affect marriage: Are parenting challenges to blame for relationship issues? | Ep. 2
-
Communication skills for couples: Navigating parenthood and parenting together | Ep. 9
-
Resentment in Marriage: How Parenthood Brings up Old Wounds and How to Heal | Ep. 31
-
Wondering How to Rekindle a Relationship After Children? 3 Stages… | Ep. 34
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The 4 Types of Connection & Ways to Rekindle the Romance with Dr. Adam Dorsay | Ep. 37
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Signs of Drifting Apart in a Relationship: 6-Step Framework to Bridge the Emotional Distance in Parenthood | Ep. 40
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Love Language Not Working Anymore? How Parenthood, Stress, and Identity Shifts Change Emotional Needs in Marriage and Long-Term Relationships | Ep. 52
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Unhappy Marriage After Baby? Rebuilding Emotional Closeness in Parenthood Using Love Languages | Ep. 54
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Full Transcript HERE.
—
Want to take our relationship to the next level?
👉Here are my top Resources
👉 Link to my Newsletter
👉 Join the Couples’ Immersive Program
📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com)
📢 Listen, share, and leave a review!
Your support means the world!
---
Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
www.markellakaplani.com
Sunday May 25, 2025
Sunday May 25, 2025
So many parents I work with tell me the same thing:
“I thought I’d be different.”
We want to be gentle, connected, patient. But when the pressure builds… we feel hijacked by old patterns.
This week, I sat down with trauma-informed parent coach Jaspreet Chopra Lewis to talk about why that happens — and what to do about it.
We talked about inherited patterns like emotional invalidation, the exhausting pendulum between too much control and too much guilt, and how nervous system work can help you shift in real-time, not just in hindsight.
💌 Don’t forget: This week’s newsletter includes an exclusive tool to help you track small emotional wins get it at markellakaplani.com/newsletter.
—
Who is Jaspreet Chopra Lewis?
Jaspreet is a Trauma Informed Parent Coach and a Polyvagal Informed music interventionist. She strongly believes that focusing on behavior modification will never help you develop a deeply connected relationship with your child. Real change happens when parents do the work, heal from their own childhood, and see their child's experience from a fresh perspective and not from a lens that is colored by conventional thoughts, their own childhood experiences and their current stresses. And that's how children can be led into better behavior, better choices and emotional regulation.
Her frameworks for healing and parenting draw hugely from the works of Dr. Gabor Mate, Dr. Stephen Porges and Dr. Daniel Seigel. Jaspreet has over 24 years of experience in journalism, operations & management, training and coaching. Apart from supporting parents in their parenting journey, she is also actively working to create safe spaces for women and children through awareness programs.
Jaspreet's Resource: www.themindfulfamily.in/trigger-to-triumph
—
Full Transcript HERE.
—
Want to take our relationship to the next level?
👉Here are my top Resources
👉 Link to my Newsletter
👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge
📩 Get in touch with me
Instagram @markella.kaplani;
website;
e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com
📢 Listen, share, and leave a review!
Your support means the world!
---
Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
www.markellakaplani.com
Sunday May 18, 2025
Sunday May 18, 2025
What if healing isn’t something you have to do before parenting but something you do within it?
In this episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, we explore what healing really looks like when you’re not at a retreat, but in a home full of snack crumbs, emotional meltdowns, and endless to-do lists.
This isn’t about becoming a brand new person.
It’s about becoming a softer, braver, more present version of yourself, right in the middle of the mess.
We talk about how parenting can awaken the parts of us that were never truly seen, how to show up for ourselves while showing up for our kids, and why the smallest unseen moments, the breath, the pause, the whispered “I’m sorry,” are what changes everything.
Today we explore:
- Why healing during parenthood is harder — but more meaningful
- 4 gentle shifts to start healing even when you’re exhausted
- Why perfection isn’t the goal, presence is
- How to rewire your inner voice with compassion
💌 Don’t forget: This week’s newsletter includes an exclusive tool to help you track small emotional wins get it at markellakaplani.com/newsletter.
--
Full Transcript HERE.
—
Want to take our relationship to the next level?
👉Here are my top Resources
👉 Link to my Newsletter
👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge
📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com)
📢 Listen, share, and leave a review!
Your support means the world!
---
Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
www.markellakaplani.com
Sunday May 11, 2025
Sunday May 11, 2025
Have you ever caught yourself reacting to your child in a way that feels all too familiar, perhaps echoing your own parents' responses?
These moments often reveal the invisible family patterns we've unconsciously inherited.
In Episode 57 of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, we explore how these unseen scripts shape our parenting styles and emotional responses.
We'll discuss how to identify these patterns, understand their origins, and take the first steps toward conscious change.
Today we explore:
- What invisible family patterns are and how they form
- Recognizing when these patterns influence your parenting
- Strategies to begin altering these inherited behaviors
- The importance of self-compassion in the journey of change
Join me as we delve into the transformative process of becoming more aware of our inherited parenting styles and learn how to foster a more intentional and connected relationship with our children.
--
Full Transcript HERE.
—
Want to take our relationship to the next level?
👉Here are my top Resources
👉 Link to my Newsletter
👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge
📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com)
📢 Listen, share, and leave a review!
Your support means the world!
---
Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
www.markellakaplani.com
Markella Kaplani
Psychologist | Parenthood & Relationship Coach
The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast offers a deep exploration of the emotional and psychological challenges of becoming a parent.
Diving into topics like matrescence, patrescence, and the loss of identity, this podcast is designed to provide holistic, compassionate insights for those looking to navigate the complex dynamics of parenthood and relationships.
With weekly episodes focused on personal growth, overcoming parental guilt, and strengthening family bonds, it invites you, the listener to join a supportive community dedicated to personal and relational fulfillment.
Let's (re)connect to ourselves, our partners, our children, and each other!