Emotional Labor in Parenting: 3 Tools to Get Out of Roommate Phase after Baby | Ep. 62

GET THE INTIMACY in 5 MINUTE GUIDE!

 

If you’ve ever found yourself lying next to your partner at night feeling more like co-parents than lovers, wondering why you feel disconnected despite still loving each other then this episode is for you.

In this week's episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, we’re diving deep into the invisible force that could be draining your emotional closeness without either of you realizing it: emotional labor in parenting.

 

Maybe you're not arguing. Maybe your schedules are full. Maybe the kids are thriving. And yet, something feels off. You catch yourself thinking, “Is it the sex? Is it that we don’t talk like we used to?” But when you try to fix it with a date night or a long talk, it doesn’t always hit the spot. 

 

Why?

 

Because intimacy isn’t just about sex or deep conversations. It’s about feeling seen, held, and recognized, especially in the chaos of family life. And emotional labor in relationships, especially for parents, is often what’s causing the slow drift that no one talks about.

 

We’ll explore why emotional labor in relationships becomes heavier after children arrive and why couples start to experience emotional distance in marriage, even when the love hasn’t gone anywhere. You’ll learn how everyday tasks (from packing school lunches to remembering grandparents' birthdays) create an emotional load that’s rarely acknowledged, and how that load impacts closeness, connection, and desire.

 

This episode also unpacks the sneaky feeling of being “fine but not great.” That quiet ache of feeling like roommates in marriage is one of the most common things I hear from couples, and it’s often the beginning of a slippery slope toward disconnection - not because the relationship is broken, but because your version of intimacy needs to evolve.

 

If you’ve been asking yourself how to reconnect after kids, or if you’re searching for what intimacy after parenthood really looks like (hint: it’s not always candlelit dinners), you’re in the right place.

I’ll also guide you through three tiny yet transformative rituals you can start this week; no scheduling, therapy, or “fixing” required. These are invitations to start noticing each other again, to shift from performance to presence, and to slowly rebuild emotional intimacy in long-term relationships that have been weathered by parenting.

 

Whether you're a few months into parenting or many years in, this is a powerful listen that brings empathy, relief, and direction. It’s not about blame. It’s about awareness. Because once you understand how emotional labor in parenting shows up in your home and heart, you’ll start to see your relationship through a more compassionate lens.

If you’re wondering how to reconnect with your partner, especially when life is too busy for grand romantic gestures, you’ll walk away feeling less alone, more understood, and equipped with practical tools that fit into your real life.

So if you’re ready to go from surviving to reconnecting, press play. You’ll hear real talk, tangible practices, and a perspective that honors your role as a parent and a partner.

Because you can still have love, warmth, and connection, even in the messy middle.

GET THE INTIMACY in 5 MINUTE GUIDE!

💌 Don’t forget: This week’s newsletter includes an exclusive tool to help you track small emotional wins get it at markellakaplani.com/newsletter.

 

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 Full Transcript HERE.

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Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
www.markellakaplani.com