3 Practical Steps to Heal Emotional Disconnection in Marriage After Children | Ep. 73

Get the [free] Reconnection Roadmap [for him] that I referred to!!

 

 Have you ever looked over at your partner in bed and thought, we’re right next to each other… but it feels like we’re living on different planets?

If so, you’re not alone. 

This episode is all about what psychologists call emotional drift:
that quiet, subtle distance that creeps into so many relationships after kids arrive.

Today, we unpack one of the most common questions couples ask:
“Why do couples feel like roommates after kids?”

 

Because let’s be honest: Parenting together can sometimes feel more like project management than partnership. You share a home, a schedule, maybe even a Google calendar… and yet, there’s this ache of where did we go?

 

In this conversation, I’ll walk you through:

• What emotional drift in marriage actually is and why it’s not the same as resentment or incompatibility.
• The hidden reasons why marriage after kids struggles even when the love is still there.
• Why moms often feel invisible carrying the mental load, and why dads often feel they’re “still not enough” no matter what they do.
• What research from The Gottman Institute shows about bids for connection and why missing them slowly erodes intimacy.
• Simple, science-backed tools for how to reconnect with your partner after having children without forcing awkward conversations or waiting for “date night.”

You’ll learn practical ways to shift the emotional temperature in your home through what I call micro-moments - small, doable gestures that rebuild safety and closeness over time. Think six-second hugs, honest one-liners like “I miss us”, or learning to regulate your body before you try to relate with your partner.

 

If you’ve been Googling things like feeling alone in my marriage after kids, emotional distance in marriage, or how to save your relationship after children, this episode will meet you right where you are. 

 

Because the truth is: the drift isn’t proof you’ve fallen out of love. It’s a signal that your nervous systems are overloaded, your emotional labor is uneven, and your relationship needs small acts of repair, not blame.

 

And here’s the most important part: your kids are watching. They’re learning what love looks like by seeing how you and your partner reach for each other, or drift apart. Repairing emotional distance isn’t just about saving your marriage. It’s about giving your children a model of resilience, tenderness, and connection they’ll carry into their own lives.

 

So if you’ve been feeling like roommates in the same bed, press play on this episode. You’ll walk away with compassion for yourself, insight into your partner, and clear steps for creating connection again.

And if you want to go deeper, don’t forget to grab my free Reconnection Roadmap — seven simple steps to reawaken admiration and intimacy without long talks or therapy jargon.

 

Because love after parenthood is a whole new game… and with the right tools, you can win it together.

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Full Transcript HERE.

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The [free] Reconnection Roadmap [for him] that I referred to

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Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
www.markellakaplani.com