The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast | Matrescence | Relationship after baby | Motherhood life

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Episodes

Parenthood and maintaining a healthy relationship are ambitious endeavors. Being fully aware, you armed yourself with all the latest books, articles, podcasts, and resources, committed to being present and strong for your family. Yet, despite embracing every piece of advice and strategy in your search for reassurance, there are times you find yourself wondering why the harmony, connection, and closeness you envisioned seem out of reach. If this rings true, let me tell you: it’s not you! It’s what they didn’t tell you. The parenting guidance and strategies we read online lack depth. They hardly ever address the transition into parenthood and the profound impact this has on our identity, partnerships, and ability to show up as the parent we wish to be for our children. But guess what? We’re about to turn that around. Hi there, I’m Markella Kaplani. A clinical-counseling psychologist, a parenthood and relationship Coach, a matrescence coach and facilitator, a former special educator, and a parent myself. In my 15+ years in counseling and coaching, I know this to be true: once a parent is truly supported, not only through being given techniques to overcome parenting challenges, but on a personal and relational level, then the entire family can thrive. So, welcome to the Parenthood and Relationship Podcast! Here, we learn to grow individually, normalizing and validating the processes of matrescence and patrescence (i.e. struggling with identity, mom guilt, dad guilt, postpartum rage, work-life balance, etc). We also grow together by unraveling how parenthood affects marriage and what stands in the way of following the actionable parenting strategies that we know are helpful. So, if you’re feeling ready, let me hold your hand while we tackle intriguing, yet difficult topics, with compassion and curiosity. Interested to know more? - Reach out via email at info@markellakaplani.com with your questions, and - Visit www.markellakaplani.com to access FREE resources and check out ways to work with me personally. Let’s do this! --- 🔎 Is Parenthood Making or Breaking Your Relationship? FIND OUT NOW! https://www.markellakaplani.com/couplesquiz 🖥 Reconcile the ’old’ identity with the ’new’ Grab your FREE Matrescence Mini-Course https://www.markellakaplani.com/videoseries 👥 Join our Circle: www.facebook.com/groups/parenthoodandrelationship/ 🤝 Would you like a more personalized touch? I can offer Parenthood and Relationship Coaching. info@markellakaplani.com www.markellakaplani.com Book an introductory session to explore our chemistry and whether I am the right fit for you: http://tidycal.com/markellakaplani/intro-session

Episodes

Sunday Sep 22, 2024

Feeling Loneliness in Motherhood? Here's why! [Gender Roles, Parenthood & Identity] | Episode 24

Sunday Sep 22, 2024

In today’s episode, we dive deep into the fascinating topic of the 'othering' of mothers, exploring how motherhood often creates a distinct separation from womanhood and even fatherhood.

Inspired by a conversation I recently had with Jennifer Peterkin on her podcast The Human Experience, I question why society separates moms from other women and why similar spaces for dads are rare.

Join us as we explore:
🌸 The difference between motherhood and womanhood and how becoming a mom often alters your social identity.
🤔 Why fathers aren't grouped or supported in the same way, and what that says about gender roles.
💡 How loneliness in motherhood may be a result of creating “special” mom groups.
🧠 The emotional impact of being defined by your role as a mom, and the grief many mothers feel for their previous selves.
🎙️ Allyson Felix’s story with Nike, highlighting the societal expectations placed on women post-pregnancy.
👨‍👩‍👧 How we can better support both moms and dads, so parenthood enriches rather than confines.

If you’ve ever questioned how parenthood shifts societal views on women and men, this episode is for you!

Tune in to learn how we can create inclusive spaces for parents that allow them to embrace all aspects of their identity. 💕

DOWNLOAD THE FREE MINI VIDEO SERIES ON HOW MOTHERHOOD CHANGES US
Find out why and how this happens in key areas of life, including your personality, your relationship, your work, and even your spirituality. Get it here for FREE: https://www.markellakaplani.com/videoseries

*Be sure to check out Jennifer Peterkin’s podcast The Human Experience and follow her on Instagram @thehxpod.

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Journaling Exercise

Reflect on Your Identity in Parenthood

How has parenthood shaped your identity?
Do you feel that your role as a mother/father has changed the way you see yourself, or the way others see you?
Do you feel 'othered' or separated from certain aspects of your identity?
What parts of yourself, such as hobbies, work, or friendships, feel neglected or overshadowed by parenthood?
What does support look like for you?
Reflect on whether you feel supported as a parent and what kind of spaces or communities you’d like to see for yourself and your partner.
What roles do you see for moms vs. dads in your community?
How are fathers acknowledged, or not, in the spaces you navigate as a parent? How are mothers?
What steps can you take to reclaim or integrate the parts of yourself that feel distant?
How can you balance your identity as a mother or father with your other roles and passions?

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Related Resources and Links

> FREE Self-Connect Calendar
> FREE Guide: Calm Parent Calm Child
> (Re)Discover Your Identity in Motherhood [waitlist]
> Get in touch with me (Instagram; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com)
> Leave a Podcast Review HERE 😀
> FREE Motherhood Coaching Session: Send an e-mail to info@markellakaplani.com with the subject line “Podcast Guesting”
> Join our community on Facebook: Parenthood and Relationship Group

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Find the full transcript HERE.

🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world!
📲 Follow me on Instagram @markella.kaplani for more insights and updates.
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Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
Matrescence Coach, Facilitator, & Activist
www.markellakaplani.com

Sunday Sep 15, 2024

Healing Generational Trauma: Nervous System Regulation in Parenthood with Holly Logan | Episode 23

Sunday Sep 15, 2024

In this heartwarming episode, I welcome special guest Holly Logan, a master’s prepared nurse and family nurse practitioner, to explore the vital topic of nervous system regulation in parenthood.

Holly is an advanced practice nurse by education who is currently a stay-at-home mom to three boys. Through her own personal health struggles and transitions into parenting, she grew a passion for family wellness and nervous system health.

Our conversation is powerful and insightful as it touches on the importance of managing stress, trauma, and overwhelm as parents, especially when navigating the challenges of parenthood.

Holly dives deep into how personal and generational trauma affects our parenting styles, offering practical tips for regulating the nervous system and balancing mental and physical wellness in daily life.

Key discussion points include

trauma,
stress management,
mother guilt and shame,
recognizing emotional triggers, and
how small practices like journaling can help create a more compassionate parenting experience.

⚠️ Content Warning: This episode mentions sensitive topics such as substance abuse, addiction, suicide, and loss. It’s best listened to with earbuds if you’re around children or need a gentler space for these discussions.

Be sure to check out Holly Logan’s podcast Lead with Empathy and follow her on Instagram @hollylogan_health.

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Journaling Exercise

Sometimes, developing greater self-awareness requires consistent practice and thoughtful reflection. For those of you who may be struggling to recognize patterns in how stress or triggers affect your day-to-day life, I’d like to offer a practical journaling exercise. Take a few days to simply observe yourself. Pay attention to the physical, emotional, and cognitive cues that may lead to feelings of frustration, overwhelm, or emotional withdrawal.

You don’t need to immediately associate these moments with deeper triggers—just notice them. What does a typical week look like for you? Write down instances when you may have snapped, felt disconnected, scrolled for longer than you intended, or reacted in a way you weren’t proud of. By observing and documenting these moments, you may begin to uncover patterns that have gone unnoticed due to the routine nature of daily life. This exercise allows you to step back and reflect as an observer, gaining clarity by reviewing your week with fresh eyes. Sometimes, it’s only when we see things on paper that we truly begin to connect the dots.

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Related Resources and Links

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Find the full transcript HERE.
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🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world!

📲 Follow me on Instagram @markella.kaplani for more insights and updates.

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Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
Matrescence Coach, Facilitator, & Activist
www.markellakaplani.com

Sunday Sep 08, 2024

Fostering Compassionate Family Culture to Promote Emotional Wellbeing | Cultivating Compassion in Parenthood Series (#5) | Episode 22

Sunday Sep 08, 2024

Join me in this episode as we discuss how we can establish healthy family dynamics based on sturdy and explicit family values.

Learn how to create a positive family environment that nurtures emotional wellbeing and strengthens your parent-child connection.

Discover how parenting with compassion can impact your family culture and lead to healthier relationships.

What we’ll cover:

The benefits of compassionate parenting
How to use family rituals to build stronger bonds
Effective strategies for managing conflict resolution for kids
Understanding the importance of the mother-father relationship in maintaining a supportive family environment
Creating the foundations for parenting with compassion

So tune in to Episode 22 id you’d like a guide to raising a happy, emotionally healthy family while overcoming the common struggles of modern parenting.

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Journaling Exercise

Consider how it is that you want to foster compassion in your family culture.

What values it is that you and your partner share and that you want to instill in your children?
What kind of ritual or tradition you can start setting up so that you foster openness in communication and in the expression of feelings, trust, compassion, and kindness?

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Related Resources and Links

*Love Language Quiz: https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language

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Find the full transcript HERE.

🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world!
📲 Follow me on Instagram @markella.kaplani for more insights and updates.

---

Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
Matrescence Coach, Facilitator, & Activist
www.markellakaplani.com

Sunday Sep 01, 2024

Cultivating Compassion in Children [How to teach a child empathy, kindness and compassion] | Episode 21

Sunday Sep 01, 2024

Do you ever wonder how to teach your child to be more compassionate and kind?

In this episode, we dive into the heart of raising empathetic children by exploring the powerful role modeling plays in their development.

We'll talk about how the simple, everyday actions you take can shape your child’s understanding of empathy, kindness, and compassion — without needing to be perfect.

Using relatable stories, we’ll look at how even small acts of kindness can have a big impact.

Plus, I'll share some easy, practical ways to encourage compassionate behavior in your kids, even when life gets hectic.

Here’s a quick peek at what we’ll cover:

🌟 Why modeling compassion is more powerful than simply teaching it
📚 How books about compassion can help your child learn empathy
💬 Simple ways to talk to your child about kindness and feelings
🤝 Tips for handling negative behavior with compassion instead of punishment
🌱 The long-term benefits of raising a compassionate child

Whether you're trying to teach your child good manners or wondering how to encourage kindness and empathy, this episode is packed with insights to help you on your parenting journey.

Tune in to Episode 21 to discover how you can foster a home environment where compassion thrives!

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Journaling Exercise

Reflect on a Recent Moment:

Think of a recent time when either you or your child showed kindness or compassion. Write one or two sentences about what happened.

How Did It Feel?

Jot down a word or two about how that moment made you feel.

Set a Simple Intention:

Write one small way you can encourage or model compassion in your family this week.

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Related Resources and Links

> FREE Self-Connect Calendar|
> FREE Guide: Calm Parent Calm Child
> (Re)Discover Your Identity in Motherhood [waitlist]
> Get in touch with me (Instagram; website; e-mail)
> Leave a Podcast Review HERE 😀
> FREE Motherhood Coaching Session: Send an e-mail to info@markellakaplani.com with the subject line “Podcast Guesting”
> Join our community on Facebook: Parenthood and Relationship Group

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Find the full transcript HERE.

🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world!
📲 Follow me on Instagram @markella.kaplani for more insights and updates.
---

Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
Matrescence Coach, Facilitator, & Activist
www.markellakaplani.com

Sunday Aug 25, 2024

Compassionate Communication for Couples: Building Stronger Relationships after Parenthood [Cultivating Compassion in Parenthood Series #3] | Episode 20

Sunday Aug 25, 2024

Do you ever feel like parenthood has impacted how you connect with your partner?

In this episode, I break down how we can foster compassionate communication in our relationship, even when we’re exhausted and juggling a million things at once.

We chat about why it’s so easy to lose sight of our partners when we’re in the thick of parenting, and I’ll share some practical tips on how to keep that connection alive.

Using real-life examples we see how small shifts in communication can make a big difference.

Here’s a quick rundown of what we’ll cover:

🌟 The impact of self-compassion on your relationship
👂 The art of active listening and why it matters
💬 How to express your needs without blame or judgment
💞 The importance of empathy and understanding your partner’s perspective
🧠 Why regular check-ins can keep your relationship strong
🤝 Tips on navigating tough conversations with kindness and care

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LINKS MENTIONED

Episode #1: Matrescence
Episode # 4: Patrescence
Episode # 9: Communication Skills in Parenting

Couples Communication Checklist

Get it for FREE by leaving an Apple Podacst review and sending me a screenshot HERE.

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Journaling Exercise

Go to your journal and think about one thing that you want to discuss with your partner. Don't pick the most difficult one. Don't pick one that is going to create a lot of tension. Pick something lighter that you think is not resolved that you still think needs a little bit of work. And as a first step, just write it down in your journal. Write down the emotions that you feel and how you would turn the conversation into I statements.

Then, you can go and download my communications checklist for couples, review it a little bit, and see how you can incorporate those I statements that you have in your journal into a conversation that you can have with your partner.

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Resources and Links Mentioned

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JOURNALING EXERCISE:

Pick one of the suggestions that I made, whether that be the self-connect calendar (markellakaplani.com/selfconnectcalendar), whether it be a meditation with a body scan or mindful breathing, whether it's taking a walk, practicing self-forgiveness, etc… take one of these and write how you're going to be implementing it in your journal.

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Find the full transcript HERE.

🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world!
📲 Follow me on Instagram @markella.kaplani for more insights and updates.
---

Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
Matrescence Coach, Facilitator, & Activist
www.markellakaplani.com

Sunday Aug 18, 2024

Cultivating Self-Compassion as a Parent: Overcoming Perfectionism and Parental Guilt [Cultivating Compassion in Parenthood Series] | Episode 19

Sunday Aug 18, 2024

Do you find that though you may be quite good at comforting friends, you are very harsh on yourself and your perceived parental failings?

Might you possibly be carrying the belief that if you are hard on yourself for your shortcomings, you are helping yourself improve?

If the weight of perfection and high expectations has got you down in parenthood, you are not the only one.

Being a perfectionist is one thing.
Being a parent and a perfectionist is a whole different ballgame. |

Motherhood and fatherhood are calling you to transform; to learn a different path toward self-improvement - one that involves self-compassion at its core.

In today’s episode, you will

learn practical techniques to cultivate self-compassion, even amidst the challenges of parenthood
explore common barriers like perfectionism, parental guilt, and societal expectations — and how to overcome them
understand the importance of mindfulness in parenting and how to incorporate simple, parent-friendly self-care practices into your daily routine.

Whether you're a new parent or navigating the complexities of raising children, this episode offers valuable insights to help you nurture yourself and those you love.

Don't miss out on the tips and tools to create a more compassionate and fulfilling parenting journey.

🔗 Tune in now and share with other parents who might benefit!

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Resources and Links Mentioned

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JOURNALING EXERCISE:

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Find the full transcript HERE.

🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world!
📲 Follow me on Instagram @markella.kaplani for more insights and updates.
---

Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
Matrescence Coach, Facilitator, & Activist
www.markellakaplani.com

Sunday Aug 11, 2024

The Power of Compassion in Parenting: Nurture Yourself, Your Partner, and Your Children [Cultivating Compassion in Parenthood Series] | Episode 18

Sunday Aug 11, 2024

Do you ever find yourself overwhelmed with guilt, feeling like you’re too hard on yourself as a parent or partner? Trust me, you’re not alone.

In this first episode of the special August series on Cultivating Compassion in Parenthood, we break down what compassion is, its benefits, and how to take baby steps in developing it more authentically.

We’re not just talking about compassion for others, but for yourself, too.

Imagine what it would feel like to have that harsh inner critic embrace you, to give yourself a break, and to truly nurture the relationships that mean the most to you.

In this episode, I share personal stories, practical tips, and a whole lot of heart about how compassion can soften the edges of those tough parenting days.

We’ll explore how being kinder to yourself can ripple out and transform your relationships with your partner and your kids.

Parenting isn’t about being perfect—it's about showing up with love, even when things get messy.

So grab a cup of coffee or tea, get comfy, and let’s chat about how you can embrace compassion and make your journey a little lighter, a little kinder, and a whole lot more fulfilling.

You deserve this!

Resources and Links Mentioned

JOURNALING EXERCISE:

Take your journal and write down something that you did today that was a proud parenting moment or something that was compassionate toward yourself or someone else.

This will help you start to notice those positive and beautiful things that happen throughout the day.

Our brain has the tendency, it's its natural tendency, to focus on the negatives. Through this exercise, we retrain it so that it can start to focus on the positives as well.

Find the full transcript HERE.

🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world!
📲 Follow me on Instagram @markella.kaplani for more insights and updates.
---

Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
Matrescence Coach, Facilitator, & Activist
www.markellakaplani.com

Sunday Aug 04, 2024

The Compassion Gap: Why we can’t let go of our parental expectations though we can support parent friends (Mom Guilt | Dad Guilt) | Episode 17

Sunday Aug 04, 2024

Are you struggling with mom guilt or dad guilt and finding it hard to be kind to yourself even though you are kind to other parent friends?

In this episode, I dive deep into:

🔹 The roots of parental guilt and why it persists

🔹 How societal expectations shape our self-image

🔹 The powerful role of the inner critic and how it formed

🔹 Practical steps to embrace self-compassion

🔹 The journey of reparenting and inner child healing

Tune in to uncover the profound impact of self-compassion on your parenting journey and learn how to healthily lower the volume of your inner critic.

Your children deserve the best version of you, and so do you!

Resources and Links Mentioned

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JOURNALING EXERCISE:

Write a letter to your inner critic and express your gratitude for the fact that it had to play this harsh role in order to make sure that you are well off, that you are accepted, that you're part of the tribe, that you survive.

And then in a second paragraph, tell your inner critic that you forgive them for having to be this harsh with you, for using this strategy in order to get through to you, even though it was very painful.

And then recognize how painful it may have been for your inner critic to have to take on this role and end the letter with the main theme being that your inner critic can let go of this role now; that they can be who they want to be, that they can contribute to your well being in a different manner because they no longer have to protect you in this way.

Let them know that you are stepping up as the healthy adult to reparent and protect your inner child and that your inner critic doesn't have to step in. Reassure it that you're there. Explain how you're going to do things differently and welcome the inner critic in your life in a different capacity this time.

Now this is a profound exercise and it is very, very impactful, but you're not going to see results overnight. So take it one step at a time. Start noticing the little things that your inner critic is able to let go of. Note them down, and continue journaling. And in time, as you keep at this, you're going to see how your inner critic's voice will gradually lower and lower.
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Find the full transcript HERE.

🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world!
📲 Follow me on Instagram @markella.kaplani for more insights and updates.
____________________________________________________

Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
Matrescence Coach, Facilitator, & Activist
www.markellakaplani.com

Markella Kaplani

Psychologist | Parenthood & Relationship Coach

The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast offers a deep exploration of the emotional and psychological challenges of becoming a parent.

Diving into topics like matrescence, patrescence, and the loss of identity, this podcast is designed to provide holistic, compassionate insights for those looking to navigate the complex dynamics of parenthood and relationships.

With weekly episodes focused on personal growth, overcoming parental guilt, and strengthening family bonds, it invites you, the listener to join a supportive community dedicated to personal and relational fulfillment.

Let's (re)connect to ourselves, our partners, our children, and each other!