The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast | Matrescence | Relationship after baby | Motherhood life

https://feed.podbean.com/markellakaplani/feed.xml

2.6K

Downloads

Episodes

Parenthood and maintaining a healthy relationship are ambitious endeavors. Being fully aware, you armed yourself with all the latest books, articles, podcasts, and resources, committed to being present and strong for your family. Yet, despite embracing every piece of advice and strategy in your search for reassurance, there are times you find yourself wondering why the harmony, connection, and closeness you envisioned seem out of reach. If this rings true, let me tell you: it’s not you! It’s what they didn’t tell you. The parenting guidance and strategies we read online lack depth. They hardly ever address the transition into parenthood and the profound impact this has on our identity, partnerships, and ability to show up as the parent we wish to be for our children. But guess what? We’re about to turn that around. Hi there, I’m Markella Kaplani. A clinical-counseling psychologist, a parenthood and relationship Coach, a matrescence coach and facilitator, a former special educator, and a parent myself. In my 15+ years in counseling and coaching, I know this to be true: once a parent is truly supported, not only through being given techniques to overcome parenting challenges, but on a personal and relational level, then the entire family can thrive. So, welcome to the Parenthood and Relationship Podcast! Here, we learn to grow individually, normalizing and validating the processes of matrescence and patrescence (i.e. struggling with identity, mom guilt, dad guilt, postpartum rage, work-life balance, etc). We also grow together by unraveling how parenthood affects marriage and what stands in the way of following the actionable parenting strategies that we know are helpful. So, if you’re feeling ready, let me hold your hand while we tackle intriguing, yet difficult topics, with compassion and curiosity. Interested to know more? - Reach out via email at info@markellakaplani.com with your questions, and - Visit www.markellakaplani.com to access FREE resources and check out ways to work with me personally. Let’s do this! --- 🔎 Is Parenthood Making or Breaking Your Relationship? FIND OUT NOW! https://www.markellakaplani.com/couplesquiz 🖥 Reconcile the ’old’ identity with the ’new’ Grab your FREE Matrescence Mini-Course https://www.markellakaplani.com/videoseries 👥 Join our Circle: www.facebook.com/groups/parenthoodandrelationship/ 🤝 Would you like a more personalized touch? I can offer Parenthood and Relationship Coaching. info@markellakaplani.com www.markellakaplani.com Book an introductory session to explore our chemistry and whether I am the right fit for you: http://tidycal.com/markellakaplani/intro-session

Episodes

Sunday Oct 13, 2024

Having an Identity Crisis as a Parent? 6 Strategies to Finding Yourself after Motherhood and Fatherhood to Maintain Your Marriage after Children | Matrescence | Patrescence | Episode 27

Sunday Oct 13, 2024

Feeling lost in motherhood / fatherhood? You’re not alone.

In this episode, we have a warm but honest conversation regarding the struggle to keep a sense of self while being the best parent we can be.

Parenthood changes everything, but it doesn’t have to erase who we are.

We’ll explore how to navigate the identity shift that comes with becoming a parent and provide 6 powerful insights on how to reclaim your sense of self.

Join me so that we discuss the underlying reasons for our loss of identity in motherhood and fatherhood and how, even though you might think it only impacts you as an individual, it CAN erode both your marriage as well as your connection with your children.

Here’s the truth: you don’t have to choose between being a good parent and being YOU.

My 6 actionable strategies will help you reconnect with your identity and bring more balance and joy into your life.

Today We Find Out:

🧠 What it means to lose yourself in parenthood

🔍 How to recognize signs of identity loss
💡 Practical steps to reclaim your sense of self
🧳 Balancing self-care and parenting
💬 How to communicate your needs with your partner

This episode will leave you feeling empowered to rediscover yourself while embracing parenthood fully.

—

Referenced Links

Episode 25 - Coaching session with Devan:
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/gr/podcast/the-parenthood-and-relationship-podcast/id1739098480?i=1000671184664
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5uYoucZEpYQpKCfosPTUzx?si=VF4LbtxDQ6SqDz4pahLK9A
Podbean: markellakaplani.podbean.com/e/25

FREE Self-Connect Calendar

markellakaplani.com/selfconnectcalendar

Couple’s Communication Checklist

markellakaplani.com/coupleschecklist

(Send me a screenshot of your Apple review at info@markellakaplani.com and get it for FREE)

—

DOWNLOAD THE FREE MINI VIDEO SERIES ON HOW MOTHERHOOD CHANGES US
Find out why and how this happens in key areas of life, including your personality, your relationship, your work, and even your spirituality. Get it here for FREE: https://www.markellakaplani.com/videoseries

---

Journaling Exercise

Take some time to reflect on these questions to reconnect with yourself:

How am I feeling right now? Write honestly about your emotions, both positive and negative.
What do I need? Identify your personal needs beyond your role as a parent.
What is missing in my life? Explore areas of your life you feel disconnected from or that you want to reintroduce.
What part of my old self do I miss the most? Reflect on the hobbies, passions, or personality traits you feel have faded since becoming a parent.

This exercise can help you start the journey of rediscovering yourself while embracing your role as a parent.

—-

Related Resources and Links

> FREE Self-Connect Calendar
> FREE Guide: Calm Parent Calm Child
> (Re)Discover Your Identity in Motherhood [waitlist]
> Get in touch with me (Instagram; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com)
> Leave a Podcast Review HERE 😀
> FREE Motherhood Coaching Session: Send an e-mail to info@markellakaplani.com with the subject line “Podcast Guesting”
> Join our community on Facebook: Parenthood and Relationship Group

---

Find the full transcript HERE.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oRfx-ftekX7ex7T6Blyo1TkMfoUs87jYUz7N3Irkaio/edit?usp=sharing

—

🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world!
📲 Follow me on Instagram @markella.kaplani for more insights and updates.
---

Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
Matrescence Coach, Facilitator, & Activist
www.markellakaplani.com

Sunday Oct 06, 2024

Feeling Unsupported as a Mom? Is it gaslighting or oversensitivity? Real Mom Support vs Expectations | Matrescence

Sunday Oct 06, 2024

Have you ever felt unsupported as a mom?

Motherhood is tough, but what makes it even harder is when societal expectations are disguised as support.

If you’ve ever asked yourself, "Am I being too sensitive?" or wondered if you’re overreacting to well-meaning advice, you're not alone.

In this episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, we’ll talk about the difference between real support and the subtle pressure that often makes moms feel judged, gaslit, and even burdened by mom guilt.

Where do these expectations come from, and how can we start recognizing when advice is more about the other person’s comfort than actual help?

More importantly, how do we stop passing down generational expectations and offer moms the kind of support that truly lightens their load?

🎧 In today’s episode, we explore:

The emotional toll of societal pressure and how it fuels mom guilt
How to offer healing support instead of judgment
Why many moms feel unsupported, even by those closest to them
The role of past trauma in shaping our expectations of motherhood
How to recognize when you’re being gaslit versus being too hard on yourself

If you’ve ever struggled with feeling guilty or unsure whether you're receiving true support, this episode is for you.

We’ll discuss the small yet powerful shifts that can help both moms and those who care about them offer support in a way that truly makes a difference.

---

DOWNLOAD THE FREE MINI VIDEO SERIES ON HOW MOTHERHOOD CHANGES US
Get it here for FREE: https://www.markellakaplani.com/videoseries

---

Journaling Exercise

1. If you are a mom who feels gaslit or unsupported

Think about a recent situation where you felt unsupported, judged, or dismissed. Reflect on how the interaction made you feel. Did you second-guess your emotions or decisions? Ask yourself: Were my feelings invalidated, or was I told I was overreacting? How do I usually respond in moments like these, and what impact does it have on my confidence as a mother?

Write down your thoughts and ask yourself:

"What do I need in moments like this to feel truly supported?"
"Is there a pattern in how I receive feedback or advice from certain people, and how does that impact my sense of self?"
"What boundaries can I set to protect my emotional well-being?"

2. If you fear that you may be passing your own trauma as "support"

Reflect on a recent time when you gave advice or support to a mom in your life. Was my advice really what she needed, or did it reflect my own unresolved experiences and fears? Was I trying to validate my own choices by encouraging her to follow my path? How can I better tune into her needs and offer support that honors her journey, not mine?

Write down your thoughts and explore:

"Am I projecting any of my past struggles or unmet needs onto others?"
"How can I check in with myself before offering advice to ensure it's about helping her, not validating my own decisions?"
"What would true, compassionate support look like from her perspective?"

—-

Related Resources and Links

---

Find the full transcript HERE.

🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world!
📲 Follow me on Instagram @markella.kaplani for more insights and updates.
---

Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
Matrescence Coach, Facilitator, & Activist
www.markellakaplani.com

Sunday Sep 29, 2024

COACHING SESSION #1: Healing from Generational Sacrifice [Motherhood expectations | Working Mom | Mom Burnout] | Episode 25

Sunday Sep 29, 2024

In this heart-opening episode, you’ll witness a live coaching session with Devan, a mother of two young children, who vulnerably shares her struggles around juggling motherhood, work, and personal fulfillment (see her bio below!).

As a grief counselor, Devan is no stranger to the emotional landscape of life’s challenges, but in her journey through motherhood, she grapples with feelings of guilt, the pressure to be an “awesome mom,” and the struggle to find balance.

Together, we explore Devan’s conflicting identities: the loving mom she wants to be, showing up in every way possible and the business she strives to keep on scaling.

Through insightful coaching, we unpack her inner critic, expectations, and fears that most parents will resonate with deeply.

Will she find the balance she yearns for, or is there more to the concept of "enough"? Join us on this exploration of self-sacrifice, generational expectations, and redefining success as a parent.

In this episode, you’ll gain:

👉 Insight into the emotional struggles of balancing motherhood and career
👉 Practical strategies for managing mom guilt
👉 Real-life examples of handling burnout as a parent
👉 Tools to connect with your children while maintaining your personal identity
👉 An honest look at the internal pressures mothers feel to "do it all"

With love, vulnerability, and compassion, this episode is sure to resonate with parents navigating the complexity of modern motherhood.

#MomGuilt #ParentingBalance #WorkingMomStruggles #HealingGenerations #MomBurnout #MotherhoodJourney

Take some time to reflect on the emotions that surfaced while listening to this episode.

How do you relate to the experiences of balancing motherhood, career, and personal identity?
Consider any guilt, expectations, or pressure you feel. What might help you feel more at peace in these areas of your life?
How can you balance your identity as a mother or father with your other roles and passions?

—

More on Devan and her incredible work:

Devan, MCP, RCC, is a Registered Clinical Counsellor, owner of DevanCecilia Counselling, and mom of two toddlers. After experiencing 20 deaths before the age of 20, Devan felt called to sit and support others who needed help and connection. With over a decade of clinical experience in grief and loss, end-of-life, caregiving support, and mental health, Devan believes no stories or thoughts are too scary, too much, too big, or too soon to talk about.

After working with and supporting others in their grief, Devan felt called to help create a better experience for grievers before life-altering losses. She created The Grief Kit, and Gather Before Goodbye, an online guide to collecting as much as possible about your loved ones before they die. A four-step collection method to memorialize and celebrate a loved one’s life in advance of their death.

https://devanceciliacounselling.com/
Facebook and Instagram: @devanceciliacounselling
LinkedIn: Devan Christian-Vermeer

Podcast guest links:
https://www.griefdreams.ca/podcast/98?rq=devan
https://www.youtube.com/live/PxVJs4uBcGs?si=WkQzsDGlwBv3jTpF

—-

Related Resources and Links

---

Find the full transcript HERE.

🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world!
📲 Follow me on Instagram @markella.kaplani for more insights and updates.
---

Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
Matrescence Coach, Facilitator, & Activist
www.markellakaplani.com

Sunday Sep 22, 2024

Feeling Loneliness in Motherhood? Here's why! [Gender Roles, Parenthood & Identity] | Episode 24

Sunday Sep 22, 2024

In today’s episode, we dive deep into the fascinating topic of the 'othering' of mothers, exploring how motherhood often creates a distinct separation from womanhood and even fatherhood.

Inspired by a conversation I recently had with Jennifer Peterkin on her podcast The Human Experience, I question why society separates moms from other women and why similar spaces for dads are rare.

Join us as we explore:
🌸 The difference between motherhood and womanhood and how becoming a mom often alters your social identity.
🤔 Why fathers aren't grouped or supported in the same way, and what that says about gender roles.
💡 How loneliness in motherhood may be a result of creating “special” mom groups.
🧠 The emotional impact of being defined by your role as a mom, and the grief many mothers feel for their previous selves.
🎙️ Allyson Felix’s story with Nike, highlighting the societal expectations placed on women post-pregnancy.
👨‍👩‍👧 How we can better support both moms and dads, so parenthood enriches rather than confines.

If you’ve ever questioned how parenthood shifts societal views on women and men, this episode is for you!

Tune in to learn how we can create inclusive spaces for parents that allow them to embrace all aspects of their identity. 💕

Reflect on Your Identity in Parenthood

How has parenthood shaped your identity?
Do you feel that your role as a mother/father has changed the way you see yourself, or the way others see you?
Do you feel 'othered' or separated from certain aspects of your identity?
What parts of yourself, such as hobbies, work, or friendships, feel neglected or overshadowed by parenthood?
What does support look like for you?
Reflect on whether you feel supported as a parent and what kind of spaces or communities you’d like to see for yourself and your partner.
What roles do you see for moms vs. dads in your community?
How are fathers acknowledged, or not, in the spaces you navigate as a parent? How are mothers?
What steps can you take to reclaim or integrate the parts of yourself that feel distant?
How can you balance your identity as a mother or father with your other roles and passions?

---

Related Resources and Links

---

Find the full transcript HERE.

🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world!
📲 Follow me on Instagram @markella.kaplani for more insights and updates.
---

Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
Matrescence Coach, Facilitator, & Activist
www.markellakaplani.com

Sunday Sep 15, 2024

Healing Generational Trauma: Nervous System Regulation in Parenthood with Holly Logan | Episode 23

Sunday Sep 15, 2024

In this heartwarming episode, I welcome special guest Holly Logan, a master’s prepared nurse and family nurse practitioner, to explore the vital topic of nervous system regulation in parenthood.

Holly is an advanced practice nurse by education who is currently a stay-at-home mom to three boys. Through her own personal health struggles and transitions into parenting, she grew a passion for family wellness and nervous system health.

Our conversation is powerful and insightful as it touches on the importance of managing stress, trauma, and overwhelm as parents, especially when navigating the challenges of parenthood.

Holly dives deep into how personal and generational trauma affects our parenting styles, offering practical tips for regulating the nervous system and balancing mental and physical wellness in daily life.

Key discussion points include

trauma,
stress management,
mother guilt and shame,
recognizing emotional triggers, and
how small practices like journaling can help create a more compassionate parenting experience.

⚠️ Content Warning: This episode mentions sensitive topics such as substance abuse, addiction, suicide, and loss. It’s best listened to with earbuds if you’re around children or need a gentler space for these discussions.

Be sure to check out Holly Logan’s podcast Lead with Empathy and follow her on Instagram @hollylogan_health.

---

Journaling Exercise

Sometimes, developing greater self-awareness requires consistent practice and thoughtful reflection. For those of you who may be struggling to recognize patterns in how stress or triggers affect your day-to-day life, I’d like to offer a practical journaling exercise. Take a few days to simply observe yourself. Pay attention to the physical, emotional, and cognitive cues that may lead to feelings of frustration, overwhelm, or emotional withdrawal.

You don’t need to immediately associate these moments with deeper triggers—just notice them. What does a typical week look like for you? Write down instances when you may have snapped, felt disconnected, scrolled for longer than you intended, or reacted in a way you weren’t proud of. By observing and documenting these moments, you may begin to uncover patterns that have gone unnoticed due to the routine nature of daily life. This exercise allows you to step back and reflect as an observer, gaining clarity by reviewing your week with fresh eyes. Sometimes, it’s only when we see things on paper that we truly begin to connect the dots.

---

Related Resources and Links

---

Find the full transcript HERE.
--

🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world!

📲 Follow me on Instagram @markella.kaplani for more insights and updates.

---

Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
Matrescence Coach, Facilitator, & Activist
www.markellakaplani.com

Sunday Sep 08, 2024

Fostering Compassionate Family Culture to Promote Emotional Wellbeing | Cultivating Compassion in Parenthood Series (#5) | Episode 22

Sunday Sep 08, 2024

Join me in this episode as we discuss how we can establish healthy family dynamics based on sturdy and explicit family values.

Learn how to create a positive family environment that nurtures emotional wellbeing and strengthens your parent-child connection.

Discover how parenting with compassion can impact your family culture and lead to healthier relationships.

What we’ll cover:

The benefits of compassionate parenting
How to use family rituals to build stronger bonds
Effective strategies for managing conflict resolution for kids
Understanding the importance of the mother-father relationship in maintaining a supportive family environment
Creating the foundations for parenting with compassion

So tune in to Episode 22 id you’d like a guide to raising a happy, emotionally healthy family while overcoming the common struggles of modern parenting.

---
Journaling Exercise

Consider how it is that you want to foster compassion in your family culture.

What values it is that you and your partner share and that you want to instill in your children?
What kind of ritual or tradition you can start setting up so that you foster openness in communication and in the expression of feelings, trust, compassion, and kindness?

---

Related Resources and Links

*Love Language Quiz: https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language

---

Find the full transcript HERE.

🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world!
📲 Follow me on Instagram @markella.kaplani for more insights and updates.

---

Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
Matrescence Coach, Facilitator, & Activist
www.markellakaplani.com

Sunday Sep 01, 2024

Cultivating Compassion in Children [How to teach a child empathy, kindness and compassion] | Episode 21

Sunday Sep 01, 2024

Do you ever wonder how to teach your child to be more compassionate and kind?

In this episode, we dive into the heart of raising empathetic children by exploring the powerful role modeling plays in their development.

We'll talk about how the simple, everyday actions you take can shape your child’s understanding of empathy, kindness, and compassion — without needing to be perfect.

Using relatable stories, we’ll look at how even small acts of kindness can have a big impact.

Plus, I'll share some easy, practical ways to encourage compassionate behavior in your kids, even when life gets hectic.

Here’s a quick peek at what we’ll cover:

🌟 Why modeling compassion is more powerful than simply teaching it
📚 How books about compassion can help your child learn empathy
💬 Simple ways to talk to your child about kindness and feelings
🤝 Tips for handling negative behavior with compassion instead of punishment
🌱 The long-term benefits of raising a compassionate child

Whether you're trying to teach your child good manners or wondering how to encourage kindness and empathy, this episode is packed with insights to help you on your parenting journey.

Tune in to Episode 21 to discover how you can foster a home environment where compassion thrives!

---

Journaling Exercise

Reflect on a Recent Moment:

Think of a recent time when either you or your child showed kindness or compassion. Write one or two sentences about what happened.

How Did It Feel?

Jot down a word or two about how that moment made you feel.

Set a Simple Intention:

Write one small way you can encourage or model compassion in your family this week.

---

Related Resources and Links

> FREE Self-Connect Calendar|
> FREE Guide: Calm Parent Calm Child
> (Re)Discover Your Identity in Motherhood [waitlist]
> Get in touch with me (Instagram; website; e-mail)
> Leave a Podcast Review HERE 😀
> FREE Motherhood Coaching Session: Send an e-mail to info@markellakaplani.com with the subject line “Podcast Guesting”
> Join our community on Facebook: Parenthood and Relationship Group

---

Find the full transcript HERE.

🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world!
📲 Follow me on Instagram @markella.kaplani for more insights and updates.
---

Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
Matrescence Coach, Facilitator, & Activist
www.markellakaplani.com

Sunday Aug 25, 2024

Compassionate Communication for Couples: Building Stronger Relationships after Parenthood [Cultivating Compassion in Parenthood Series #3] | Episode 20

Sunday Aug 25, 2024

Do you ever feel like parenthood has impacted how you connect with your partner?

In this episode, I break down how we can foster compassionate communication in our relationship, even when we’re exhausted and juggling a million things at once.

We chat about why it’s so easy to lose sight of our partners when we’re in the thick of parenting, and I’ll share some practical tips on how to keep that connection alive.

Using real-life examples we see how small shifts in communication can make a big difference.

Here’s a quick rundown of what we’ll cover:

🌟 The impact of self-compassion on your relationship
👂 The art of active listening and why it matters
💬 How to express your needs without blame or judgment
💞 The importance of empathy and understanding your partner’s perspective
🧠 Why regular check-ins can keep your relationship strong
🤝 Tips on navigating tough conversations with kindness and care

---

LINKS MENTIONED

Episode #1: Matrescence
Episode # 4: Patrescence
Episode # 9: Communication Skills in Parenting

Couples Communication Checklist

Get it for FREE by leaving an Apple Podacst review and sending me a screenshot HERE.

---

Journaling Exercise

Go to your journal and think about one thing that you want to discuss with your partner. Don't pick the most difficult one. Don't pick one that is going to create a lot of tension. Pick something lighter that you think is not resolved that you still think needs a little bit of work. And as a first step, just write it down in your journal. Write down the emotions that you feel and how you would turn the conversation into I statements.

Then, you can go and download my communications checklist for couples, review it a little bit, and see how you can incorporate those I statements that you have in your journal into a conversation that you can have with your partner.

---

Resources and Links Mentioned

---

JOURNALING EXERCISE:

Pick one of the suggestions that I made, whether that be the self-connect calendar (markellakaplani.com/selfconnectcalendar), whether it be a meditation with a body scan or mindful breathing, whether it's taking a walk, practicing self-forgiveness, etc… take one of these and write how you're going to be implementing it in your journal.

---

Find the full transcript HERE.

🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world!
📲 Follow me on Instagram @markella.kaplani for more insights and updates.
---

Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
Matrescence Coach, Facilitator, & Activist
www.markellakaplani.com

Markella Kaplani

Psychologist | Parenthood & Relationship Coach

The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast offers a deep exploration of the emotional and psychological challenges of becoming a parent.

Diving into topics like matrescence, patrescence, and the loss of identity, this podcast is designed to provide holistic, compassionate insights for those looking to navigate the complex dynamics of parenthood and relationships.

With weekly episodes focused on personal growth, overcoming parental guilt, and strengthening family bonds, it invites you, the listener to join a supportive community dedicated to personal and relational fulfillment.

Let's (re)connect to ourselves, our partners, our children, and each other!